How to Confuse your Children

An outstanding post from Vickie at Demand Euphoria, on the top ten ways parents can confuse their children by demanding behaviors they don’t live up to themselves.

  1. If he’s yelling, yell at him: STOP YELLING! IT’S NOT NICE TO YELL.

  2. Tell him never to talk to strangers because it’s dangerous, but then tell him he is rude when he won’t say hello back to the cashier at the grocery store.

  3. Tell him he should never let anyone touch him if he doesn’t feel comfortable, but then don’t intervene when his aunt, who he sees once a year, hugs him against his will.

  4. Tell him you can’t afford to buy him the one-dollar candy bar he wants, as you are buying yourself a five-dollar cup of coffee.

  5. Tell him he has to share his favorite toy with his sister, but then later when he wants to play with your iPhone, don’t let him.

  6. If he has just hit his sister, tell him it’s not nice to hit someone, then grab him and hit him.

  7. Tell him he’s not allowed to quit doing that thing he hates, because it’s important to be persistent and determined, but then tell him to quit asking for that thing he wants because it’s annoying how persistent he is.

  8. Tell him not to eat now (when he’s hungry) because if he does, he won’t be hungry later (when the clock says it’s time for dinner).

  9. Tell him you can’t do that thing he wants you to do for him because you are in the middle of writing an email, but then get really upset when he tells you he can’t do something for you because he’s in the middle of playing a video game.

  10. Explain how important it is to be honest, and then freak out when he tells you the truth about something he did and punish him for doing that thing. And then later, lie to him about something really important.

This is definitely an Emparenting blog to watch! (Luckily, I  never do any of those things, especially not number 5…)